Monday, 21 March 2011

Prepare to be visually assaulted

As I’m sure most people have noticed, the weather is starting to change, and the temperature is starting to drop a little. Now, while I do love winter, there is a certain element of hatred that exposes itself in me at this time of the year. The reason for my inordinate outbursts of hatred?...

These are an absolute abomination! Do they say "sexy" to you? Heck no! They say "I'm lazy" or "I smell like ass" or "I can't please a man" or " I blindly follow celebrity fads"...... quality people! 

You can guarantee that as soon as the temperature drops even slightly, your poor eyes will be assaulted by these evil carriers of fashion failures. Admittedly, I do have a pair of these myself, but in my defence
 a) someone gave them to me as a gift
 b) the person that gave them to me is no longer my friend (see above)
c) one day I might be the last person on earth
d) a troupe of giant shoe and sock-eating slug-coyotes might come and eat every single sock and shoe on the planet as well as the resources to make them, leaving us left with ugg boots alone, in a world where only those that have ugg boots will survive. ( I would choose death)

I have definitely just convinced myself to throw mine out. No... I will burn them.

So this is an official warning:


Sunday, 20 March 2011

One big failure of a day

So far my day has been one huge failure...
I woke up and my carpet was wet, the washing machine had leaked and soaked through my wall to my bedroom floor.
I couldn't wear my favorite pair of work shoes because they were wet from the washing machine flood.
My car took ten minutes to start so I was late for work.
I printed a whole lot of important work stuff on the wrong paper.
I went to have a break only to discover I had run out of cigarettes and had left my eftpos card at home.
I then went to get a coffee with the coins I had and discovered I was short by 50c.
I decided to just sit in my car and listen to music for a few minutes, but today all my cd's decided they were too scratched to play.
I remembered that I had some crackers at work, so I went to get them but someone had eaten them all and just left me the empty packet.
I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water and slipped on something someone had spilt on the floor.
It's only 1.20pm... I'm here till 5.30pm... please pray for me...

Wednesday, 16 March 2011

the right to call it a day

Slowly, gently,
Drifting, falling.
Shouting, begging,
Frantic calling.
Whisper, whisper,
From far away.
You leave this world,
And still, I stay.
My friend, my friend,
How can you be,
A right and proper,
Friend to me,
If constantly,
Near once a day,
This silly little
Game you play?
The one where you
Simply drift away.
“thank god men cannot fly, and lay waste the sky as well as earth”
(h. thoreau)