Monday 21 March 2011

Prepare to be visually assaulted

As I’m sure most people have noticed, the weather is starting to change, and the temperature is starting to drop a little. Now, while I do love winter, there is a certain element of hatred that exposes itself in me at this time of the year. The reason for my inordinate outbursts of hatred?...








                               
These are an absolute abomination! Do they say "sexy" to you? Heck no! They say "I'm lazy" or "I smell like ass" or "I can't please a man" or " I blindly follow celebrity fads"...... quality people! 

You can guarantee that as soon as the temperature drops even slightly, your poor eyes will be assaulted by these evil carriers of fashion failures. Admittedly, I do have a pair of these myself, but in my defence
 a) someone gave them to me as a gift
 b) the person that gave them to me is no longer my friend (see above)
c) one day I might be the last person on earth
d) a troupe of giant shoe and sock-eating slug-coyotes might come and eat every single sock and shoe on the planet as well as the resources to make them, leaving us left with ugg boots alone, in a world where only those that have ugg boots will survive. ( I would choose death)

I have definitely just convinced myself to throw mine out. No... I will burn them.

So this is an official warning:

THEY ARE ON THEIR WAY!
THEY ARE DANGEROUS!
ANY PERSON WHO EVEN GLIMPSES A PAIR OF THESE MUST COVER THEIR EYES AND LIGHT A MATCH!


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